A post I made recently, discussing relationships, communication and infidelity..
People are too afraid to talk about their needs... especially in a long standing relationship that started at a younger age.
When you go through life with a partner, all the hell and crap that happens can really put a wedge between you that makes you unable to speak up.. the communication breaks down because of animosity with each other, or because of fear.
We get into relationships only knowing ourselves as much as we do at that given moment. Your relationship is formed with the 'rules' that you thought were right for you at that given time. Those rules change, and we are hesitant to tell our partners, for fear they will not agree. This is true of everything we do, not just sex stuff. The way we decide to raise kids, for example... at the time we marry, we figure it will be one way.. then as we learn about the realities, we see need for changing our attitudes... if our partner doesn't seem willing to change theirs, egos get in the way of real communication.
I really think most people don't get to know themselves really well until they've had serious hardships to go through. We live in such an affluent society, we now need to create hardships with things like depression and substance abuse! Our spiritual selves will always find a way for us to get to the nitty gritty, whether we want to, or not. It really is all about finally letting go of ego, and seeing that we will never have the world in the way we think it 'should' be. Once 'shoulds' are taken out of our core vocabulary, we can move on and love what is.... and learn to communicate our own true thoughts... not just reiterating what we think society wants of us, or what we need to say to please everyone else out of fear of rejection.
