Ok, I get it that you are angry.. you know you are right, she did lie to you.
And this is WRONG, oh so WRONG! right?
There is anger and indignation when you feel that wrongness. I get it, I know where you're coming from. I know when I'm wronged, my ego says: HOW FUCKING DARE SHE!!!!!
SHE DARED TO USE ME AND ABUSE ME!!!!
Without the ego defenses we would all be used till we were sucked dry. The ego has it's place!!! For sure it is good to not let someone abuse us.
The point I want to get to, however, is not to LOVE the sinner, as you misunderstood what I wrote to you earlier.
The point is to be neutral, and to accept that, firstly, SINNERS EXIST, whether we like it or not. They are out there in our society, and will use, abuse and ruin the lives of others. They will also, at the same time, be using and abusing and ruining their own lives. It is so very sad all around.
Secondly, we can accept the fact that we are responsible for our own lives, and that living on this planet in this society means that we will sometimes get burned by sinners, undeservedly. Sometimes we see red flags and ignore them.. our choice!!! Sometimes we trust a little too quickly and easily.. also our choice!!! We must be on guard for the sinners and do what we can to keep them out of our lives. It is our own responsibility to protect ourselves.
The third thing we must accept is that we ARE going to get burned sometimes, even when we have done everything in our power to keep these people from hurting us. This is indeed inevitable.. and WE SIGNED UP FOR IT WHEN WE TOOK ON A LIFE. It is like the rabbit in the woods running away from the fox. Does he wish the fox wasn't there? YES. Does he do everything in his power to not get caught? YES. Does he sometimes mess up and not see the fox and get eaten? YES. Does he scorn his life by being angry all the time and turn away from the joys of life because the fox exists?? No!!! He still happily hops through the meadow and enjoys life as much as he can... finds himself a pretty bunny, humps away, making the cutest little babies and enjoys his little life.
Letting go of the ego is not easy, but it will bring you peace! Accepting what IS, is huge.
We were not born into a perfect world, no matter how much we want it to be that- it just isnt. I do dream of a day (as do you, I AM SURE!!) When humans will behave with the righteousness of one of my favourite characters of all time.. Captain Jean-Luc Picard! But these days are not today. By accepting what is, by putting down our boxing gloves and ending the impossible fight, we can move into a place in our lives that we flow with the energy and good things will happen. When we fight life as it is, we fight ALL of it.. not just the bad parts.. the good parts too! We block all from happening and we are stuck in our pain of fighting the world.
I do want you to know, I for sure still have my moments too. I like to try to disengage from emotions when stuff happens that I don't like.. it's very hard to do. I am learning however, that often the bad stuff can be so good for me in retrospect.
I was such a darling girl, gorgeous in fact. If I didn't have a weight problem I would have never needed to develop the better side of myself. I would have probably turned out much different... a bitchy sad, egocentric.
Having people do bad things to gives you an opportunity to hone your senses, and learn the tell tale signs. You can learn to overcome the harsh realities of life and learn to let go of what you are insisting must be so, but isn't. These things WILL KEEP HAPPENING to you until you learn these lessons.
Happiness happens when you accept what is happening around you, even though you may not like it. You accept the pain of living... and in doing so, the good parts are so much happier... :)
So.. my soapbox is covered with way too many bubbles now and my feet are getting sore..
I better go now! I do hope you don't feel offended. I just call a spade a spade.. no emotion or anything.. just a sincere desire to help.